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07 August 2007 @ 05:07 pm
Ficlet: Intermittent Silence: Don/Charlie  
Title: Intermittent Silence
Fandom: Numb3rs
Characters: Don/Charlie
Rating: R/NC-17
Warnings: Incest
Spoilers: "Obsession"
Word Count: 531
Challenge: "Obsession" for eppescest Summer Porn Challenge
Feedback: Kills me but I love it because I'm a masochist.
Disclaimer: Not mine, only borrowing, just fun, no infringement intended.
A/N: Sweet Bessie, this fic just about killed me. First of all, I couldn't write it. Then I actually started writing it, but I couldn't write any more. Then I finally finished it, but I found out it was 477 words and the challenge has a word-length minimum of 500.

I'm very ambivalent about this fic. It has some wonderful, beautiful lines in it, but - overall - it's excruciatingly mediocre.


They’ve been sitting in silence.

“So… Skyler Wyatt.”

Don doesn’t look at Charlie as he nods his head. “Yeah.”

“I wonder if she’s got a good lawyer like OJ.”

“Well, she’s not going to get off; she confessed.”

“Still, you’ve got to wonder what kind of twist they’re going to put on this. Celebrity lawyers – ”

“You know, Charlie, once I’m done doing my job, it’s out of my hands, so I prefer to not think about it.” Silence descends, and Don casts a glance at Charlie to see him idly circling a finger around the rim of his glass. “What? What is it?”

“Did you want to sleep with her?”

Don squeezes his eyes shut. “Jesus, Charlie; what kind of question is that?”

“A rather straightforward question, if one were – ”

“Yeah, you got that right.” Don sighs, and when Charlie remains silent, there’s nothing but the question hanging in the air. “Yeah. Yeah, maybe I did. But that was before I found out she was a killer. Besides, that whole Anne Heche haircut…?”

Charlie huffs a laugh. “When did you become a style guru?”

“Hey, I happen to have style, thank you very much. This suit?” He moves a hand in the air down the length of his body. “This is Hugo Boss.”

“Whatever that means.”

Don laughs, and Charlie follows, and it’s okay for a moment, but then the silence returns.

“I, uh, I got a note from a secret admirer.”

“That’s what Dad said. You think it’s from Amita?”

“It’s not from Amita. I compared it to her handwriting.”

Don stiffens for a second. “Did you now?”

“Yup.”

Don dares to look at his brother, and there’s Charlie looking back at him with those eyes and that expression their father used to use when he’d ask Don whose baseball broke the window.

“Okay, alright, fine.” Don puts up his hands in surrender. “I wrote the note.”

“I know you did.” Charlie comfortably relaxes back into the chair. “Just wanted to hear you say it.” Then there’s that damn silence again. “You like my hair, huh?”

A small smile spreads across Don’s lips. “Of course I do. Especially on my thighs when you’re sucking my cock.”

“Is that so?” Charlie sets his glass on the table, slinks over to Don, and sinks down onto his knees between Don’s legs. His hands reach for Don’s belt.

This time, the silence is good. In the quiet, Charlie pulls at the leather and opens the belt. His fingers unzip Don’s pants. His hands take out Don’s cock. Then there’s the sweet bliss of Charlie’s mouth on him – his lips and tongue and teeth.

The silence is perforated by moans – not ripped apart but marked with tiny tears indicating how to make Don come undone.

This is love.

This is humility.

This is perfection.

This is home, the sweet pleasure of one giving so that the other can receive, and the exchange a gift, a gift so much more appreciated than a bread maker at a wedding or a cheese grater at Hanukkah, a gift so much more rewarding than financial donations, a gift that’s mutual and constantly reciprocating.

This is obsession.
 
 
Current Location: parents' house
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
 
 
 
dance_the_codedance_the_code on August 7th, 2007 10:38 pm (UTC)
You may be ambivilent about this - but I love it - especially the last part (starting at This is love and ending at this is obsession)

Beautiful.

Absolutely beautiful.
NV: [n3] eppescest // beersneur0vanity on August 8th, 2007 06:47 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, Dance. I'm really happy you enjoyed it.
ang \\: n3 \\ start to come undonecallmeang on August 7th, 2007 10:46 pm (UTC)
Oh wow. At first, I didn't think they were together and then they all rushed together like a flood and something twisted and yes, Charlie and Don, this is obsession.

Don't ever stop writing.
NV: [misc] cupcakeneur0vanity on August 8th, 2007 06:45 pm (UTC)
Hee! I'm so happy you liked it, my little cupcake of love. ♥
pinkdoom on August 8th, 2007 01:20 am (UTC)
*sigh* I do adore your fics, and even the ones you consider to be not so great always come off as just beautiful. The last line is *love*, but my favorite line:

The silence is perforated by moans – not ripped apart but marked with tiny tears indicating how to make Don come undone.

That is a stunning line, with so much packed into so few words--a world of imagery formed through your imagination. *hugs*
NV: [n3] don // smileneur0vanity on August 8th, 2007 06:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you! That's my favorite line in the piece as well. *hugs*
(Anonymous) on August 8th, 2007 04:47 am (UTC)
Wow. The thought that Don could have written the note (in our slash fandom anyway, haha) didn't even cross my mind. This is amazingly creative and simply wonderful. I've been lurking for a couple years, and I always get a tingle when I see a new NV story posted. When you said you were going to quit, I was so upset...and then you came back because it just seems right to you, like it does to me. I cannot tell you how much I enjoy your writing and your constantly changing journal. I only wish I could be as cool as you :)
NV: [n3] charlie // cheersneur0vanity on August 8th, 2007 06:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you so very much. It's comments like this that make the work worth the struggle. This made my day. :)
markyfic on August 8th, 2007 01:54 pm (UTC)
I would not say mediocre, just not your best. I do like this though; I like the growing intensity and how it comes together with a whisper rather than a shout. It's lovely.
NV: [n3] charlie // grinneur0vanity on August 8th, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I really haven't been in a porn mood for a long time, so it makes doing the challenge difficult.
fredbassettfredbassett on August 8th, 2007 06:55 pm (UTC)
I liked this, thanks.
NV: [misc] gay unicornsneur0vanity on August 9th, 2007 09:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
fejaih on August 8th, 2007 07:28 pm (UTC)
I want to comment, but I'm not sure what I want to say. *shrugs* Sorry if that's awkward.

How about, I can kinda tell that you fought with it, but it has these lines that are... as close to perfect as I've seen in a while. And I like the concept of the first half and the second half, but have a hard time fitting them together.

That said, overall, I like it.


...sorry if that was rude. I didn't mean for it to be...
NV: [n3] eppescest // in your roomneur0vanity on August 9th, 2007 09:55 pm (UTC)
I really appreciate the honest feedback. Thank you!
it only burns when I breathe: don&charlie_love_midnightaspikedluv on August 8th, 2007 11:51 pm (UTC)
Oh, nice twist with Don writing the note! I liked that. *g* As well as the image of Charlie on his knees, his hair on Don's legs. *nods*
NV: [n3] don // smileneur0vanity on August 9th, 2007 09:56 pm (UTC)
Glad you liked!! *bg*
Kittyhilson_is_love on August 9th, 2007 11:38 am (UTC)
O...M...G

That was *is speechlees*
NV: [n3] charlie // omgwtfneur0vanity on August 9th, 2007 09:57 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thanks for the feedback!

(And Hilson IS Love!!)
Kittyhilson_is_love on August 10th, 2007 07:32 am (UTC)
No problem :D

Indeed it is :D

I love your pic!!!!
lady_red90lady_red90 on May 7th, 2008 03:44 pm (UTC)
That was so great!!!!!!!!
completly not what I expected, as I thought the beginning had a whole lot of potential to become a "getting together" kind of story.
But so great anyway. and the last part - smiling and crying at the same time.
(Anonymous) on December 12th, 2008 05:25 am (UTC)
*guh*
That's all I really have to say....
This story was very sweet and unique. J'adore!
Leahprairie_city on January 17th, 2010 01:54 am (UTC)
OH OH, as soon as I read the part where Don stiffened after Charlie told him he'd compared the writing, I went "DON WROTE IT!" and then I went, "Wait, lavender?"

*dies*